


Taking Back Our Horizon

by Jollysailorswan



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, just another introspective little thing I wrote ages ago, s5 speculation mostly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-21 03:29:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,293
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11935383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jollysailorswan/pseuds/Jollysailorswan
Summary: First came the screams. And then the rest followed.(not sure I want to post this cause I wrote it a little while after s4)





	Taking Back Our Horizon

The first thing she registered was the voices in her head. And the scenes of other lives galloping in her mind like scared horses. Not sure if they were hers or someone else’s. Not sure what was true and what was not. She only had a small sense of awareness of the pain of her whole life, crumbled in one agonizing moment and torturing her. Her body was shaking with the intensity of what is and what should be. Once upon a time, her role was to fight, to protect the happy endings of the good and stop the bad guys. She took that role upon herself as a full time job. And oftentimes she wondered, if it was just forced upon her or she chose it. The constant running, the fighting, the searching for answers, the heartache and the despair. Was it worth it?

She was kneeling on the wooden floor, her body covered in a tattered dress, because apparently heroes didn’t deserve much in this world. She knew she was shaking, her skin tight, pale and clammy over frigid muscles, yet she wondered whether the room was shaking as well. Maybe the whole world was spinning out of control, its axis tampered by the madness of evil. Maybe this was always supposed to be the conclusion of her story. Alone, loveless, cold and filled with a darkness she never created.

The darkness that was creeping along her skin, driving her crazy. 

The different lives taunting her with their sweetness, like a kiss of death upon her heart. 

The voices calling her name, condemning her for what she hadn’t achieved. 

Her head rose from the floor, eyes wild and crazed taking in the confines of a tower, a lost princess locked away to rot. A lost princess unable for once to save herself, let alone the day. And the voices in her head become her own. She opens her mouth and all the agony comes out in a horrifying scream that scares away the last miniscule trace of sanity in her mind.

***

He’s always enjoyed the calm of the sea. In his darkest hours, when even rum couldn’t do a proper job of reducing the pain, he would turn to this untrustworthy home of the sailors for comfort. He knew the sea, sometimes better than he knew himself. It was his first love. His first family. 

But this time, even that wasn’t enough. He had shared the horizon with her and everything now bore her memory. He had given her his horizon and she had become the keeper of his heart, much like he was the guardians of hers. 

The things he had witnessed in this new world made no sense. He had never seen Snow White so vindictive and dark. Prince Charming was a prince no longer. More like a huntsman, a paid killer. But what truly didn’t make sense was Emma being gone. His Emma was gone, no one even knowing who she is. He kept asking at ports and inns and bars but no one had heard of an Emma Swan. No one but him and the boy still sleeping in his cabin knew that there she was missing. 

The sun was barely visible, hovering lightly in the horizon, painting sky and sea with reds. To the North, the castle of the Evil Queen Snow White was barely visible but with the winds in their favor, taking the Jolly Roger to one more mission for his love, they would be there by midnight. 

The screams were calling to him, waking him from his sleep, dreams and nightmares of Emma haunting ever second of unconsciousness. She was screaming and crying, tearing his heart to pieces as she tore at her hair and dress. It terrified him. She was always strong and willful. She always found a way out of any hardship. She never needed him to save her, even though she knew he would always have her back anyway. But this time, she was imprisoned by higher powers, her own mind and heart, her own light warring against her. Kept away, the greatest hero of their story, for the benefit of the evil. 

***

Months later, when another adventure is over, when they are once again sailing back to Storybrooke on the Jolly, after more tears, pain, desperation and a true love’s kiss, she’s standing with his arms around her from behind, watching a different sun rise over the horizon. She’s still in a dress and he in his pirate leathers. After the madness of the last couple years, this is the first moment of true serenity she has experienced. She feels the wind blowing softly against her face, the warmth of his embrace surrounding her with a familiar sense of safety and the freedom of a life without the burdens of the savior is opening a new future in front of her.

It wasn’t about her bringing happy endings. It wasn’t supposed to be a full time job appointed to someone. No writer, no dark one and no savior could change that. Fate had strange turns sometimes. But everyone was responsible for their own and she shouldn’t have to do all the work. People had to deserve their happiness. Being miserable was the only real punishment they would get for being evil. They had to find it on their own path, and then fight for it and keep it alive with the light in their souls. Let the light die and the happy ending will be gone. Let it grow instead, nurture it, keep it safe.

It wasn’t about her being a savior anymore. It was about her being Emma, the lost princess that found her way home thanks to the son she thought she’d never meet and the love she’d never find. She found her family, friendship and love in the most unexpected way. And she was brave enough to fight for them.

She remembered being locked in that tower and finally, after days of agony, seeing him open the door she had been unable to find. She remembered how the difference almost burned her body when he wrapped his arms around her for the first time. She remembers running once again to save everyone. She remembers his face as she left him behind, the man she finally knew in her heart that she loves, to protect everyone from the darkness that needed a host. And then him finding her again, against all odds, against all sound logic or tale. He found her again and fought to keep his own happy ending from being destroyed. And the words she’d had only the chance to say once were now freely falling from her lips like a balm to cure their wounds. She whispered them against his chest when she barrowed herself in his arms. She whispered them against his lips as they shared their nights. She shouted them to the world to hear because she wasn’t afraid anymore. The words that lit up his eyes, brighter than the sun rising and the stars that helped guide them. The I love yous she kept hidden for too long were now his. And she took his own to keep safe in her heart.

They were once again cherishing a quiet moment, the motion of the Jolly gently moving over the waves, the sun greeting them as a great beacon of hope and their hearts free from burdens assigned by cruel fate. Everything was quiet except for their hearts, beating against each other, and the soft hum of Killian singing a sailor’s love song in her ear. 

They would live every moment from now on. And if anyone dared to take that away from them they would have the courage to fight back.


End file.
